Life in Death in Life
I went to a wake today. I didn’t even know the people who had died, but I work with one of their daughters. They died in a fire at their home, allegedly set by some asshole in a domestic dispute. It’s no consolation that the suspected arsonist died as well.
A few of us at work left during the afternoon to go to Brooklyn. After a little while we found the church where the wake was being held and sat down. I’ve been to other wakes before, but I haven’t been to one very recently, and I never sat in a Baptist church before. I felt strange, as I didn’t know any of the people there, but I knew that most of them were family. Yolanda and Herbert had 18 children and 44 grandchildren, and it was obvious that most of the people there were related. It was actually a blessing that there were so many kids, since it helped to take my mind off the tragedy in front of me.
Who is stupid enough to endanger other people’s lives in their own petty disputes? Nothing is so important that you should take away the lives of people who aren’t part of the situation. What gives you the right to do such a senseless thing? You’re not God, nor should you pretend to be. There was so much love at that wake, and to take the source of that love is the STUPIDEST thing anyone can do. I can’t even do justice to their memory by berating this moron who had a beef with his daughter’s boyfriend.
We sat there for about an hour, and during that time I thought about a lot of things. How much I love my parents. How I’m glad that we didn’t end our last very recent conversation with a fight. How different people cope with loss. How these children won’t really be able to understand what happened until they grow up some more. How they should be able to live as kids for now while they still can. While I didn’t outright cry (after a weepy childhood, I usually find it somewhat difficult to cry) my eyes teared up constantly, and I was wondering why I was getting so emotional. Then we went outside and saw my co-worker and had a good talk with her. I don’t know if this is selfish, but I felt a little better knowing that for now she was all right and able to laugh at certain things. I could tell though that there were tears fighting to come to the surface and that she was holding them back.
What a blessing to have such a support network of family and friends. As I have said, there was so much love and togetherness in that room. I hope that in my small way I have been able to help balance the senseless wrong done to them. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
6/17/2005
Tourists & Cell Phone Users
Well, pretty much anything that slows down my journey from Point A to Point B. I’m not talking about people who can’t help walking slowly, like some of the elderly, the very young, or those with disabilities. Hey, if you can’t help it, I’m not about to make you go quickly just for my benefit. That would be selfish. But if you get a call from your best friend, either walk fast while you’re talking or step off to the side. I’ve been know to do both, so it is doable.
While we’re on the subject of cell phones, I don’t care about what your friend did at the bar last night. Don’t talk so loudly. It’s people like you who have made me have to hide my phone calls at work because there is now a ban on cell phone use. Luckily I’m in my own office so I can be more discreet, but the head of HR has been known to make surprise visits.
Now I know that New York City needs tourism. Mayor Bloomberg is doing all he can to increase it in 2012 for the Olympics. Tourism brings in much needed cash to the city and it’s a chance to show other people that we’re not the monsters you make us out to be. The Visitor’s Center in midtown is a very cool place; I’ve been in there a few times to get info. It also occupies the same building as my office (as well as a deli and what used to be a restaurant) so you get a lot of confused tourists wandering into the wrong lobby. Instead of getting mad, everyone kindly points them in the right direction. We’re not horrible. But you came to NYC knowing it is a fast paced city, so for the love of all that is good, don’t stand in the middle of the sidewalk and consult your map. If you need to look up something, go to the side of the sidewalk and consult. Or ask one of us. Chances are we’ll help.
Before you jump to conclusions and say that I’m being mean (even though most of you agree with me,) I have been a tourist myself. Granted, Oxford is a much smaller city, but NYC has a grid system in midtown. If you’re going the wrong way, you’ll know pretty quickly. The first day I was in Oxford, I got myself lost but good. By walking all over the city (with luggage in tow, no doubt,) I was able to recognize places later on. And I also consulted my map before I left my room in subsequent days. Now, not everyone is as visual a person as I am, so they need to check periodically. No sweat. Just do it away from the main traffic. Remember, we get a lunch hour, not a lunch half day.
And don’t get me started on teenagers after school. I don’t remember ever being that slow. There’s no point. Use your legs, that’s what they’re there for. Just wait until you have to buy your own shoes and then you won’t ruin the bottoms by scraping them against the ground while you’re shuffling along.
There are places to stroll, like parks. I love walking slowly in Central Park and taking in the scenery. I also stay to the side so that if there are any faster people they can easily pass me. The main problem is that people don’t seem to notice, or don’t care, that there are other people around them. Everyone has blinders on. When I was taking acting classes, I was trained to sense people and things around me and to be observant. That is, unless I’m in my own world, listening to my music, and even then it’s only in my office with my back to the door. You don’t have to know exactly what’s going on around you to be considerate to others.
OK, I feel better now…
6/5/2005
No, I haven’t forgotten
I’m trying to write about church and state, which is such a long subject. I will finish it and post in the near future!